Deep and mysterious. Exciting and challenging. Adventurous and exotic.
But good.
Real.
Vast.
Dive in and meet some people who want to tell you what they’ve discovered about real deal love.
It seems strange that our culture will make fun of you if you try to hold out for the ocean, and not waste time in the kiddie pool. What’s up with that? Through media and magazines, you are told at a pretty young age that you need to have a boyfriend/girlfriend and be sexually involved, or you’re a loser. Crazy.
Girls, if a guy is interested in you primarily because of his sexual attraction, sexual friction thing, guess what? There are zillions of girls out there with boobs and all the girl stuff. If a guy is interested in that, he can get it anywhere. But, if a guy falls in love with you – the real you in the body. You are unique. You are beautiful in ways that no one else is. If he falls in love with the unique you in your body, a prettier one can walk by and he’s not going anywhere because he’s in love with the girl underneath your looks.
So guys, the same with you. If a girl’s primarily interested in getting sex from guys, there’s always going to be some cuter guy and she’ll be gone. But again, if she falls in love with you – the real you in the body. And she likes your dumb sense of humor, and thinks you’re cool even though you’re not, then you’ve got something that will last. It doesn’t matter if a cuter guy walks by, she’s going to be sticking with you.
Brendan and Sarah held out for the ocean. As college seniors, they had been dating four years, and were recently engaged. He said, “We’ve never had sex, but I can look at her and figure that sex will be a good deal with her when we get married. Right now, I’m falling in love with who she is in her mind and who she is in her heart because fifty years from now her bod isn’t going to be quite as beautiful, and I still want to be in love with her.” That is a deeper love.
The culture mocks people like Brendan and Sarah because they’re not in the kiddie pool. Brendan would be teased for being a virgin. Do you think he is weak? No. Having sex does not prove your manhood. Having sex is gratification. It just may mean you don’t have any self-control. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re the man. It’s pretty easy to get sex anyway. To have that kind of strength where he’s going to respect and protect the girl he loves and fall in love with her in other ways, even though he wants to have sex with her – he’s waiting because he wants to respect her – that’s pretty strong, isn’t it?
That’s what I call Real Deal Love. Like the ocean, it’s deep; it’s strong. It’s based on other things than just her body, her boobs, and thinking, “I’ll just pick the one that looks best to me.” No, he’s falling in love with who she is – the real person.
Why waste any time in the kiddie pool? Why not just hold out for the ocean? The ocean would be real love. Real deal love.
So it’s something you all have to decide. What do you want? Kiddie pool or ocean? Why not hold out for the good stuff? To be a great athlete, you can’t just do what you want all the time. You can’t go home, and just sit on the couch eating twinkies and watching Oprah. If you want to be a great athlete you need to go out and run, and get in shape, and all that stuff. So you do the hard things first sometimes, and that’s how it is with relationships. Choose Real Love!
Quotes
“The desire of love is to give. The desire of lust is to get.” ~Author Unknown
“Human things must be known to be loved: but divine things must be loved to be known.” ~Blaise Pascal
“True love can fear no one.” ~Seneca
“Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.” ~Erich Fromm
“One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love.” ~Sophocles
“Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds.” ~William Shakespeare
“You’ll discover that real love is millions of miles past falling in love with anyone or anything.” ~Sara Paddison
“To love is to be vulnerable.” ~C.S. Lewis
“The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved – loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.” ~Victor Hugo
The Kiddie Pool: Shallow. Lame. Unsatisfying. Enter at your own risk.
A Fresh Start: Hurting? You are not alone.